One Tuesday morning, I got in to the intercity train
that leaves Kandy, at 0610hrs to arrive in Colombo by 0900hrs, so that I can
make it to office by 1130hrs. On my way, something struck me, something
constant that all of us, as human beings, face during our lifetime. The
sceneries that I saw through the window left me thinking deeply about the
inevitable..... CHANGE!!
When I left home in Kandy, everything was silent.
Not because it’s Kandy, but because it was early morning when I left. The
surroundings of my home, the ever busy road during the daytime, voice of humans
(and for that matter, animals!) Everything was silent. But gradually as the
minutes passed, as the daybreak approached, it all changed to the opposite. The
roads became busy, rising temperature of the environment, noise of machines, voices,
vehicles and what not!!
I noticed the change of environment from Kandy to
Colombo. It was more of green that I saw when I started the journey. But
towards the end, it was becoming less and less. The forests of trees I saw
turned into that of concrete, and metal.
Change of the likes of above, is tolerable, and
has its reasons. The development of the material world which accounts for the
most of it has its own advantages and disadvantages. Most of us see only one
side of it, either the benefits of material development or the damage it leaves
behind on a social and environmental background. A few try to read it both ways
and achieve a balance which is very important. Hats off for those who balance
it, if not, one extreme tends to harm the other. After all, none of us want to
live in a fully-automated world where everything happens on time, nor the Stone
Age.
Is that all that change around us? Did we miss
anything? Ah, yes! The hardest to tolerate.... PEOPLE!
How do people change? Well, I have a few close
friends, who love and want change to take place in their lives. So the most
frequent occurrence is the change of HAIRSTYLE!!! You see them every day with
long hair, and suddenly, a familiar face appears in front of me with very short
hair. If not, curly hair becomes straight or vice versa. The colour of the hair
is another factor that is subject to frequent change. Well, they do enjoy it,
and so do we!
Then why is “change” a problem?
As it goes, the human being is a social animal;
i.e. he/she does not live alone. During our lifetime, regardless of how long or
short it would have been, depending on the age, we tend to initiate and
maintain many relationships with other human beings. In the process, we get
closer to a selected few than others for many reasons. In the simplest sense,
this attraction could be based on appearance, behaviour, wealth, talents, work,
favours, etc.
What would happen when one of them change? How
would you feel it if it affects you considerably? What would be your reaction?
Throughout my short lifespan of 24 years, I have
seen many a people around me change. Many of those changes did not stand a
chance to affect me, may be because I didn’t let them. But there were a few,
from which I learnt valuable lessons.
Once, it was a person who had supported me in
many ways. The problem arose when I started to work closely with him on a
project. He expected me to follow his guidance all the time, which I could not
agree with. But somehow I made myself work with him as both of us weren’t the
only stakeholders of the project. He agreed with what we had to say initially,
but only until his expectations were met where change would take place within
him. At times, I found myself wondering whether I was the one who actually
changed. The consequences of this change were at an extra-terrestrial level,
that I was asked by the same person, to return him a “GIFT” that was given to
me by him. I decided to withdraw from the project because I learned over and
over again, that this behaviour was more of a constant than a change.
One other instance was when people whom I
considered to be friends, started acting differently, for something that I had
no control over. As I know, friends are supposed to understand another’s
situation. I think we have managed the situation reasonably, although we lack
the degree of closeness we used to have.
When I related the story to another, an advice
came my way, which read, that you can never expect all your friends to be like the
ones from your childhood, ones from your school. That is the time of life when
people around you are always your friends, who always wish the best for you,
who are always with you, be it in joy or grief, who are uncorrupted by the
darkness of the notorious society that we are in today.
If change has a tendency to improve, and ‘only
improve’ your surroundings, no one would complain. Everyone would always
embrace it with both hands, on every opportunity given. However, the reality
differs immensely from this hypothetical expectation, and as human beings, we
have to withstand them.
Tolerating change is easier said than done. The
strong will achieve it without much difficulty. The weak however, is more
vulnerable to change.
Some avoid it, by sticking to something they know
really well, where they cannot be defeated in skill or knowledge; they regard
and treat rest of the world as if they know nothing; they have regard only to
the best in the industry, for example, if it is music, only Michael Jackson or
Dr. W.D. Amaradeva exists in the world; they tend to forget that any common man
may know something that the greats of an industry might forget.
Some suffer it; they find it very difficult to
tolerate and they break down. They corner themselves from their surroundings,
and blame others for ignoring them. They do their own reasoning for the
situation by bringing out the differences, rather than trying to close them by
finding ways to bridge the gap. A few may even try to commit suicide.
These are the good, the bad and the ugly of the
consequences of change. These cannot be wiped out. Human beings will continue
to do them, see them, feel them, and experience them as long as they last.
Recently, I attended an event where the theme was
“transformation”. Prominent speakers from various parts of the business world
managed to agree on the fact that change is inevitable. The essence of this
event was, to accept change as it is, and try to alter its impact on you, may
be through taking steps to counter the change, but mostly through adjusting
yourself to absorb the change.
What we have to realise is that change was, is,
and will continue to be a part of our lives. What we can choose to do, is
either blame change every time we fail, or to adapt and make use of change to
succeed.
The decision lies with us.
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